An Open Letter to Weird Al: Safety Dance Parody

Dear Mr. Al,

Please find below a rough draft for your consideration. Topical in the time of COVID, so its half-life might not be long. Surely if you did not already dominate the realm of satirical music and were I not an essential person of sorts, I would dust off my trusty recorder and the finish the job myself.

Please feel to do with it what you will, you curly-haired genius.

Respectfully, etc.

+++ Safety Dance - a parody

You can mask if you want to.
You can leave your friend's behind.
Cuz your friends don't mask,
And since they don't mask, 
Well, they're subhuman slime.

You can hide where you want to.
A place to cower and whine.
But the question to ask someday:
Was sanitizing worth your time?

You can mask! Mask! 

We can't go where we want to!
Everything's closed as am I.
Can't get no cheese or meat
But Amazon trucks rule the street,
And Bezos wants you to buy.

You can panic if you want to.
America's going down hill
And China's the real power,
But, hell, there's still beer to swill.

We say: you will mask. You must mask.
Everyone's under control.
Stay indoors till I say so.
We gonna bankrupt all you trolls.

You will mask! Mask! 
Everyone wash your hands!
You will mask!
We can't risk the chance.
Yes, safety mask.  +++